is it worth it...?

I'm here. They're there. Something happens.. And I can't do anything about it.  Is it worth it? I mean, is this all worth it? Any of it? Me living in "the city of dreams", is it worth not being with my family? Not being there in times of need? I fully understand that if I were there, I probably would have the same capacity that I have now of doing anything but just being around that person that needs your support makes all the difference. At least for me.  I know I would want that.  That is what I miss most.  Being surrounded by the people that I KNOW love me.  We don't even have to talk... Just stand next to me.  The presence of these people bring me such peace and joy. And today, I can't do that to one of the people that means the most in my life.  Why? because I'm here.  Is it me being selfish? I hate this.  I just want to be there.  I want to help- do something. My tears won't stop-  they just keep falling like clockwork.  I'm sure it's going to be a great compliment for work.  I'm a mess today.  I wish I could blink and be in Miami. If life could be that simple, eh? My apologies if this didn't make much sense... I'm all over the place today.  

So somethings happening... And I don't like I one bit. I feel like I'm losing my motivation, my drive to make it. Actually, maybe that's not entirely true.  Maybe I'm just let down.  I let myself down a lot... And yes, I know- we are our own worse critiques but I cant help but to feel this way. I just see so many people achieving so much... And please, don't misinterpret what I'm saying, I love that they are but I feel like I am working as hard as they are in some things- why aren't I seeing the same results? Whats wrong with ME? Ya know? If I'm doing the same things, maybe a little more at times, why is it that I'm seeing different results.  Not good enough ones. Not so sure that last sentence made sense.  Oh well, in my head it did.  Anyway, back to the point at hand... I dont want to fail. I set these goals for myself and my biggest fear, is failing. Not achieving what I've been working toward.  Makes me think if I work this hard, and don't make it.... Is it worth it? But there is this burning desire for me- and I feel like I will, as so many other people will.  But for right now, I'm going through a little bump in the road called "#ifeelasimnotgoodenough".  Im always trying to motivate myself in different ways... But for some reason, something is trying to knock me down.  But here is the silver lining, this is JUST a bump and I will drive (or walk, jump, run, or if I have to.... I will crawl over that bitch. (Just sayin'). I know that I can and I will... You'll see. Until then... Thanks for letting me vent on the subway ;) 

danskin!

the site went up over the thanksgiving holiday! i loved it! here are some screenshots! :)

xo, 

me <3