return to me.

no, im not asking anyone to return to me.  im simply stating that i am returning to who i really am.  its incredible.  i dont really know at which point in yesterday this change happened but it did and i could not be happier.  honestly, i feel like i have experienced a miracle within myself.  it is as if i have awaken from the bad dream i was in and im now extremely conscious of the choices i make.  i have a goal, right? so every single choice i make throughout my day needs to be directed towards that goal. no matter what.  it is all connected. i cant steer away from that any longer.  but here is the little catch-  for that brief moment (to me, felt like an eternity), everything i had to do towards that "goal" felt like a chore, and that is where i was wrong.  it shouldn not be that way.  i want this- so i should love it.  i want to do this for the rest of my life, so i should do everything with love. and i guarantee that my results will be better, tenfold.

i went to a class yesterday, hot yoga to be exact.  i've taken a hand full of yoga classes before and im a dancer so it comes a little easier than most. however, when it comes to the "crow pose" or the "head stand" i have NEVER been able to do those.  and when i say never, i am not trying to be modest in any way shape or form.  i really do mean NEVER. so- point of this little side note is this: i am in my class, and the entire yoga class, my "intention" is to go back to my main focus, my goal here in ny. to succeed. so we get to the crow... um. first try- BAM. mama sticks it! what the heck is going on?!?! after 7 seconds i fall. i try again, i stick it again. really? something is going on.  moving on.... headstand. my roommate and i go against the wall just incase.. i tell her that im not even going to try it because i can never even get my legs above my head.. she encourages it.  telling me that it can't be that hard... so i give it a shot. and again, on my first try- BAM! mama sticks it again. at this point im freaked out. what the heck just happened?! seriously, i know  that  mastering (for lack of a better word) a couple yoga tricks doesn't really mean that there was a shift in the world and i will never go through my sad phase again.. but you know what, it made me see things clearly.  its all in the way you perceive things. anything is possible when you CHOOSE to look at things in the right light.

so to end this little inspirational short story, just try to improve your days by knowing that you deserve all the good.  you really do.  and believe me, it will come to you.  make a conscious effort to improve your thoughts and you will see a difference.  i did.  until next time...