time to go back.

its been a while since i've written on here.  maybe its because i lose my focus when i come home.  all the while i am reminded why i moved to new york in the first place.  it is kind of bittersweet, this feeling.  do not misunderstand me.. i love coming home-- i see my family and my friends, who mean the most to me in this world.  but at the same time, in this moment in my life, i have such a vision for myself that i do not want to be deviated from it.  i want nothing to get in my way.  i feel like i have take a few steps back.  maybe it is me being too serious, but i think its passion and drive.  i don't want to look back and say that i didn't give it everything i had.  i want to succeed and i want nothing stopping me.

i need to be on top of my game, and if i am going to be honest with myself, i haven't. i've been slipping.  i feel like i am in horrible shape.  more like a blowfish than a model! i need to continue hustling- go back into agencies.. never stopping. never taking a break.  i've been taking a break. and i know what some of you maybe thinking "you don't have a job.. you can afford to do this." thats exactly it.  i can't.  this is my job.  my job is to succeed.  to make it.  right now, me here is not benefiting me.  i need to be back in the city trying to make things happen.  i can't really be here and expect things to happen. i need it to.  

new york is a constant motivator.  miami, is a constant stress reliever.  you want to be on constant vacation here.  when im in new york, im on constant "succeed" mood.  always on top of what i need to do.  always one step ahead.  i feel so out of my element here.  i'm ready to be back.  and again, not because i "hate" it here... but because i have to accomplish things.  i need to fulfill myself.  i need to succeed. 

on that note-- the victoria secret fashion show is being aired this tuesday and i cannot wait-  that will be another push for me.. that is the ultimate goal for so many models, myself included.  that will light some fire under my booty. haha

here's a little clip of it.. hope you enjoy it!

maria, maria.... you remind me of the west side story....

"to become something great you have to risk becoming nothing at all. it is only when you die to the need to become or be recognized that you are finally free to do great and amazing things. in the beginning, great and amazing things are generally considered by the mind to be silly, stupid or ridiculous. die to your desires to achieve, become and fit in. cut free from the norm and embrace the absurd. there is a fine line between genius and insanity, let yourself go so you can find that line within yourself. measure your success by how much you let yourself go and have fun. don't measure your success by what the world tells you to do.embrace your own unique quirkiness. set your imagination free. let go of the need to become and embrace the need to just be yourself." -Mastin Kipp @ the Daily Love.  he could not have said it any better.  honestly, i feel like i am finally doing this.  not 100%. but baby steps. i am learning that by going out of the "norm"- i am doing more, if you will.  and i definitely have realized this lately.  how, you ask? i will tell you.  this past weekend i finally got a job! yay! and actually, i'll have you know it is a job that i never thought i would ever do... ever.  i've been approached by this company one time too many and i always thought, why in god's name would they approach me? i don't fit their "criteria".  there i went, putting myself down.  (why did i do that? geez. still learning, folks.) anyway, i was searching away around 2am on friday night, and i found a posting that stood out to me. it just screamed "perfect job"-- basically what i need right now.  the job description is this: you are a 'model' for this company and you basically are in the store and just look pretty. :) nah, just kidding.  seriously, we are the 'face' of the brand.  when the costumers walk in, they see us, we greet them, and if they need anything, we help them.  but here is the great thing-- as models, if we have a casting or a shoot, we are excused from our shift or from being tardy.  it's awesome! there are many other perks but those are just a few... oh, also... another one.. they do castings for the national campaign! so you just might see me on one of the bags... or the stores. ;) wishful thinking, huh? oh, and by the way... the company i'm working for? it's Abercrombie & Fitch.  so the point of me bringing that up is that a lot of the other "models" that i work with are working models.  when i say working models, i mean they are signed.  with an agency.  and i think that is awesome. great for them! but i've been there for a whole two days and i've met girls that are signed with msa, click, major, and mega models.  so- here's the point finally... they all tell me all these things they've done, but all through their agency.  however, me- without an agency.  and i'm no one to toot my own horn, but i'd say i've done pretty well for myself.  i've been in the city for 10 months now, and i've been published in glamour, now going for a second time coming in march (sorry for the spoiler alert!), i'll be published in raine magazine-also coming out in march,  i've been a part of new york fashion week, and a couple more things... all on my own.  it feels good.   which brings me to my next point, maria...maria... i had a film inspired shoot today for raine magazine in which i played maria from the west side story.  i cannot wait to see these pictures! it will be a 2 page spread in the magazine which will be coming out in march! (so everyone- go get it!) now, everyone i was working with was a legit profesh! me, i mean, i'm a professional but not signed, at all.  the photographer- amazeballs.  the dude i was shooting with.. also great.  the other female model who was playing annie hall, signed. i was the only unsigned model.  the feeling was kind of.. like, underdog? i guess you could say? but i did not mind one bit. you know why? because i am finally getting it.  i finally realize that i belong there just as much as anyone else.  and i am working too damn hard to not be in the place i deserve to be in.  and if it takes me hustling the same way i've been hustling to get these jobs and NOT an agency, hey... i'll do that too.  i'll do whatever it takes for me to succeed.  but i mean,  eventually i would like to be signed to a modeling agency, a top notch one preferably.  so i can not worry about the "hustling" and just do my job! ;)  that quote in the very beginning is from the daily email i receive from the daily love.  i actually got that one today (what a coincidence, huh?).  and i feel like it ties in with what i just spoke about.  honestly, we need to be able to be different to succeed.  if we keep doing what everyone has been doing for the last 25-50 years, i mean, we will get results, but wouldn't it be better if we shock people and change it up a little? give them something they haven't seen yet? i mean, i'm sure they are bored of seeing the same thing over and over again, right...?   ps. make sure to check out mastin & the daily love on twitter @thedailylove or www.thedailylove.com and sign up for their daily e-mails! so inspiring! :)

hahaha... you are about to see more of this.

i just got this video from kristina. it was on our way to our shoot yesterday.  let me paint you a picture. her and i were patiently waiting for our train... and we were talking about how famished we were, because naturally, we are models. and as the cliche', states... we don't eat. lol.  ok, we eat.. but just very little. right kristina? back me up here-- jeez! we just got goals to reach! and mountains to climb!!

anyway, back to the story... before you know it some dude sits down next to me with a fresh batch of soft pretzels and caramel dipping sauce.  really? like, was he for real? but here's the best part... i don't even like pretzels! but i wanted a piece so bad just because it smelled soooooo good.  but what do us 'normal' girls do? we take our handy dandy iPhones and start doing this....



okok, i know it isn't the best video.. but i die everytime i watch it.  and there are more where that came from. and i promise- they are better. better than that air i consumed, tell you that much! ha.

tata for now!

19!

i just sent my pictures and information to 19 agencies.  i must hear back from at LEAST one, right? right?

jesus.  this is tough! -_-

and tomorrow, i finally have my 2nd meeting with mmg.  its the commercial agency that was super interested in me.  i'm pretty sure i'll be signing with them tomorrow. (crossing my fingers they don't offer me anything exclusive because that will just be no bueno.)  For those of you that don't know what being "exclusive" or "non-exclusive" means, it basically boils down to being able to be represented by another agency.  and obvi- i do. i want to.  duh. :) bc obviously, the more agencies you have, the more opportunities you have for work.  unless, of course you are signed with one of the big mama agencies.  which, of course, i will... in due time. (you like how i'm thinking big? ;) )

well, that was a quick little update.  now, im off to bed.  i think. if i can. my mind is racing for some reason or another. "/ wahh.

goodnight and farewell! until next time. xo

will's wisdom

i love living too.  i do.  but am i at his level? i'm not quite sure.  i've seen this video about a good 15 times.  maybe more.  and every single time, i get something different out of it.  this man is just full of wisdom and it's usually all the stuff we already know but like he says in the very beginning... we like to complicate things.  we like to believe that things can't really be that easy.  and why can't they, again?  who is to say we can't make things happen for ourselves? i believe we can.  greatness exists in all of us.   we just need to believe in it, and in ourselves.  he goes on to talk about the difference between talent and skill. now this, this is something that i found really interesting.  there is no shortcuts to success. talent you have naturally, it is something that we are born with while the skill is something that is developed by hours and hours of hard work and dedication on that particular craft. people like to confuse the two, huh?   something to think about, no?

"you don't try to build a wall- you don't set out to build a wall...i'm gonna lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid and you do that every single day and soon you have a wall." - he said this after his dad tore down a brick wall and asked will and his brother, 12 and 9, respectively, to rebuild it.  lay one brick at a time. with anything, that is what we need to do, take it one step at a time to get to the end result.  we need to focus on conquering the baby steps so that, in the end, we can accomplish the overall picture.  

one thing i really appreciated in this video that he spoke about is focus on making a difference.  i think that is really important, what he said, "if you are not making someone else's life better, you are wasting your time. your life will become better, by making other lives better." ultimately, that is what it comes down to.  helping others, helps you in the long run.  i mean, i am all about that.  i always try to help others in any which way i can and if others can do the same in their daily life, believe me- it'll make a huge difference. there is no reason to have a plan 'B' because it distracts you from plan 'A'. -he could not have said it better. and it's true. why have a plan b when you know in your heart that you are destined to do what you have set yourself to do?  you have to believe in yourself and go and get it.  that simple.  he speaks about a 'delusional' quality that successful people should posses...you have to believe that something different will happen than what has already happened in the past.  and it will happen.  i know something different will happen for me.  i believe i posses that quality.  and you should too. 

"being realistic is the most common road to mediocrity." why be realistic? 

we have the ability to make a choice in our lives. if we dream something, think something, we are sending it to the universe. our thoughts are physical. we need to just decide what we are going to do, how we are going to do it and just commit to it and really focus on it, and the universe will get out of your way. THATS IT. 

to reach to the success that mr. willie smith has reached, he spoke about focus.  not just any focus. but real focus.  obsessive focus.  and that reminded me of a conversation that i had with a friend in miami right before i moved to ny.  he told me that all of my decisions ultimately had to reflect my end goal.  EVERY daily decision. and i must admit, now.. all the decisions and choices i make now, i think of my end goal.  i am focused. more than ever.  it is that desperate, obsessive focus.  and the motivation, is the fear.  smith says "i hate being scared to do something." so what does he do? anytime he got scared or feared something, he conquered it.  now, for me- my motivation. is my fear. my fears are failing. not succeeding.  obviously, there are more but for right now, those are the top ones that keep me going.  i have so much passion and drive for this that i am going no where until i succeed.  people can keep telling me that i won't make it or that i'm too fat but obvi they are probably looking at the wrong picture or they woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day. ;) either way, this chick isn't giving up because mr. smith finishes the video by saying protect your dream - and whether people like it or not, this is mine, and im gonna get it. sooner, rather than later. because it is that easy. & will said so. :) 

"I've been driven all my life by a spirit of adventure and a criminal level of optimism. I believed in my dreams because they were my only option. The people who make it to the top - whether they're musicians, or great chefs, or corporate honchos - are addicted to their calling. You have to honor the gift God has given you. The people who get the call are the ones who'd be doing whatever it is they love, even if they weren't being paid." 

 - Quincy Jones

philly.

so i went on a road-trip to philly this past sunday to go to an open call for a very well-known agency...i will let you know how the process went before i let you know the outcome...

my friend and i got there around 1:15 and the line was already out the door.. they let us in, and we sign up. (at this point, i felt like i was in like to audition for american idol...) anyway, i signed up, wrote my measurements.. lied about my hips.. wrote 37 instead of 38. ha. oh well.  i figured i'd have it down, right? right. after the first sign-in table, we moved on to the second, handed them a picture, and moved on to the third table... oh wait! in the second table- the girl looking through our books peeked through mine, saw some of my pictures and tearsheets and asked if i was signed with any other agencies, i said no, obvi.. and she proceeds to say "really? so you got everything on your own?! ohh, i'm really excited! those are really good!" --at this point. I got really excited.  moving on to the next table.... they took our forms and gave me a number, #47, and told us to take a seat by the runway.

yep- we were going to show our walks to the owner and bookers of the agency.  one by one.. so we did... and we had to wait until everyone else did too.. fast forward 2 hours.. if you had a book we stayed to show the owner... oh! but wait- there was a little catch! her assistant walked around and looked at our books first. if and only if you had tearsheets can you stay and chat it up with the owner.  THANK GOD i ripped mine out of the magazine. thank you risa. :) so i stayed, when it was my turn, i went up, and she looked through my book, she told me i was gorgeous, blah, blah, and that she "loved my measurements"-- i'm sorry, you love my measurements? did i just hear you correctly?! haha... i don't know if she was looking at the right paper or if she just said that to say it but hell, i'll take it!! she then continued to tell me that clients are always calling her for hispanic/greek/italian models and that i can be marketed to fit all of that.. and that they will definitely be calling me that week.

yep. calling me.  and that was it.  i got up and left.

so fast forward one day.  i was on the train with my friend when all of a sudden.. i get a call... from the agency. "we like to congratulate you on being accepted into the commercial/fashion&runway division of our agency." well, lets just say i nearly died.  one of the train employees had to come in and ask if we were ok.  haha

we have set up a meeting for next tuesday and we shall see what happens! although, now that i am writing this a day later after all the emotion has settled.. i still have to see what i am going to do but i am thinking this may not be the best choice for me. what's meant to be will be. i need to follow my gut and for some reason, something is telling me that this may not be the way to go. but i just wanted to say a quick little thank you to everyone that has been so supportive through this entire journey.

you guys really are the best. <3

Lindsay Alicia/Marcellita Fashion Show

hi all! :) so this past weekend i walked in the Lindsay Alicia & Marcellita show at the Taj II Lounge in chelsea, i blelieve it was.  regardless... these two ladies are super, super talented.  i had one look in both shows and i loved what i was wearing in both. although i was very excited to be a part of their show, it was a very long day, we ended up walking at 10:45ish.  but i got there at 3pm... do the math. "/ and we weren't getting paid for this show.  just exposure.  this is why mama needs an agency! ok, moving on.. here are some pictures of my looks! enjoy! these ladies are great! i've put some of their info on here just incase you're interested! i don't have marcellita's but when i get it, i will update it! :)

Follow Lindsay Alicia: @LindsayAliciaNY

www.LindsayAlicia.com

   

                                                    Lindsay Alicia Looks- Designer Knitwear

Marcellita Looks- Intimate Apparel 

hope you liked it!!!