agencies want what? extremely thin girls that are merely skin and bones. unfortunately for me, that is not the case. i have been struggling with my weight for as long as i can remember. i'm not here to say that i am extremely heavy, please do not get me wrong. but for what i want to do, i am just not the right size. anyway, i have already lost a total of 45 pounds overall since i first started dieting a couple years back when i made the decision that i wasn't happy with my body. but now, now- is when it has become extremely difficult to lose the last of it. i've hit a plateau and i'm in between a range weight and it just plain sucks. i see these girls in castings and shoots that are all so tall and skinny and of course they get the job because it is what they are looking for. and here is the thing, even before i meet with the casting directors, my head is all out of whack because i have already psyched myself out by comparing myself to all of these other girls who are, i hate to say it, half my size. so what happens? my insecurities and my lack of confidence crawls up and i bomb it. another one bites the dust.
i know i can do what these girls are doing. come on. really? because they have skinnier legs? give me a break. don't people like curves? people are hypocrites is what they are. people in the fashion industry are saying that they are welcoming "curvier" models..... ummmmm....... where are they? if by curvier models you mean women with bigger breasts, i'm not buying it.
sorry. got off on a little tangent. anyway. i said i would say everything so i am. i will give you guys my measurements.... including my weight. which my mother doesn't even know. hopefully, this will help me stay on track even more. although, i must say- i am dedicated! teehee. ok, so here it is....deep breath. i'm 5'10 and i weigh, right now... 145. fluctuating between 137-145. tragic, huh? my measurements are 32.26.39. damn that booty!! haha... and to think it was bigger! used to measure...ready for this number? ....45! haha see everyone, working out does work!
ok well, that wasn't so bad... i don't exactly know what weight i want to get down to, i just know i need to get smaller numbers in terms of my measurements. and of course, look skinnier. the number on the scale doesn't really matter... i just need to look smaller. thats the goal here. so thats goal #1. which leads to goal #2.... get. into. an. agency.
No comments:
Post a Comment